You have heard the saying “No good deed goes unpunished” and you know there is a wisdom in it. But what is that wisdom? In today’s podcast, we are going to talk about a human condition that occurs in families and with friends: There is an unequal need or dependency between supposed equals (e.g. a grown-up child who needs to live with parents) and the dependent party becomes very resentful and ungrateful. The providing party is hurt and angry at the lack of recognition of generosity. This is a classic human set-up in which the emotion of envy plays a big role.
What happens when you start wondering if you still trust a person with your work challenges or questions? Did you ever have the sneaking feeling that your best friend at work has their own agenda which doesn’t necessarily include your success as a priority? You’re not alone and there’s a very good reason for it.
When there are problems in a marriage it can often be difficult for couples to speak plainly to one another. Maybe one partner doesn’t want to hurt the other’s feelings. Or maybe they need to work out their thoughts before bringing up specific points. However, there is a particular audience for which spouses will not hold back: therapists. Marriage and couples therapists regularly hear uncensored accounts of what’s happening in relationships because, well, it’s their job.
Listen to Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D. and Seth Gillihan, Ph.D. talk about the big ideas from her recent book, Love Between Equals: Relationship as a Spiritual Path. Polly presents an inspiring view of committed relationships—not at all an idealized view, as she acknowledges the challenges in sharing life with another person.
In her wedding vows for her second (or maybe third) marriage, my sister said, “…as long as this lasts” instead of “’til death do us part.” Was it wry and dark humor, or a pretty accurate reflection of how modern relationships play out? The American Psychological Associates notes that, in Western cultures, 90% of people marry by age 50, and 40-50% of those couples divorce. Divorce rates are even higher for subsequent marriages. Perhaps my sister’s vow reflected her own personal experience as well as an understanding of the landscape of our times.
In the Your Hidden Power Podcast, host Doug Stephan welcomes Polly Young-Eisendrath, a Jungian Analyst, Psychologist, teacher and author. Polly is the originator of Dialogue Therapy, which is designed to help couples and others transform chronic conflict into greater closeness and development. Her new book, "Love Between Equals," is a guide to help successfully negotiate conflicts and deepen our most intimate relationships.
Love, by its nature, requires two ingredients: knowing your beloved well and accepting your beloved deeply. By “knowing,” I mean a knowledge of the other’s being as it is. That knowledge may not be completely accurate, or even very accurate, but it must be “good enough” for the other person to trust the image reflected back, to feel accepted and at ease.
Shrink Rap Radio podcast with host Dr. David Van Nuys. Talking about the book, Love Between Equals: Relationship as a Spiritual Path, Jung, Zen Buddhism, relationships, families, and of course...love!
Why Love in the 21st Century Is So Difficult. The nature of love in the 21st century has beckoned us to a new cultural and social horizon from which we may be able to learn how to manage our conflicts between love and hate, between dominance and submission, between surrender and self-protection, without creating an enemy.
Love can be a mystery. It can be confounding. But still we pursue it. With gusto. So on the holiday devoted to love, VPR host Jane Lindholm talks with psychologist and author Polly Young-Eisendrath about modern love, understanding how to communicate with your partner and creating a relationship of equals.
Most couples revel in closeness. Most of us see knowing everything about the other person, sharing everything together, and creating a true unison of souls as hallmarks of a strong relationship. But in this excerpt from her recently released book Love Between Equals: Relationships as a Spiritual Path, psychotherapist Dr. Polly Young-Eisendrath shows couples the power of honoring the space in between.
Last year, after reading Women and Desire: Beyond Wanting to Be Wanted, I put Dr. Polly Young-Eisendrath on my bucket list to have on the show. This book explores the power in women having their own needs and wants, rather than focusing on wanting to be wanted. This book dovetails with my Truce with Food work as it provides a road map and skills for clients to go from the “good girl” based on what others need and want to developing their own preferences that are in alignment with who they are. Knowing your body’s own unique nutritional needs and truest personal callings are under this umbrella.
Jungian analyst, Polly Young-Eisendrath talks with Bonnie Bright, Ph.D. in conjunction with Pacifica Institute. Personal love—that is, love that we feel within—has changed in the 21st century. In this day and age, we seek three very specific outcomes in our relationships that have not always been sought in “traditional” relationships.
From the "In the Balance" podcast with Susan Lambert. The formula for love and marriage in the 21st Century has evolved from Romantic Love to Personal Love - love has been taken out of the demands of tradition, arranged marriages, family and tribal affiliations - we can now get married based on personal love, choosing anyone we want. Dr. Polly Young-Eisendrath describes this new intimate relationship as one with no hierarchy, based on mutual respect and reciprocity, with each partner becoming a life-long friend and witness to the other.
Vermont psychologist Polly Young-Eisendrath remembers all the questions she aimed at her husband: Why had he racked up some $70,000 in unexplained credit card bills; written another $57,000 in checks to himself from their joint account; and, most disturbingly, anxiously defied her repeated call for answers?