I am pleased to introduce you to the term "Real Dialogue" as the umbrella for the methods of Dialogue Therapy (Real Dialogue at Home), Real Dialogue at Work (Real Dialogue Specialist), and Real Dialogue in the World (our podcast and live events).
What do we mean by Real Dialogue? It names both the method and the skill that allows you to:
(1) Speak for yourself: take responsibility for your own impressions, feelings, opinions instead of claiming "YOU made me feel this way.”
(2) Paraphrase and Create a Mindful Gap: step back, take a breath and find out if you truly understand the other person’s ideas, impressions, feelings, opinions instead of just rehearsing your own. and
(3) Remain curious and open: use Speaking for Yourself and the Mindful Gap as you continue to discuss anything that is emotionally activating, conflictual or stressful in your personal or professional life.
Learning the skills and methods to be certified as a Dialogue Therapist or Real Dialogue Specialist, will increase you own ability to use Real Dialogue in many domains, but especially in the following:
1. Learning, through mindfulness practices, how to keep all emotional threats to a minimum (requires using Real Dialogue and the 3 C’s of commitment, constraint, and containment - see Chapters 3 and 4 in “Love Between Equals”)
2. Getting to know yourself in terms of your own childish modes and knee-jerk emotional reactions of feeling/acting/sounding like a child or disempowered victim (we all have these) and your own blind spots (we all have these, too).
Hoping that our paths cross on the way to using Real Dialogue at home, at work or in the world!