What About the Chemistry?

71552-61942Single adults—young and old—often talk about wanting the right “chemistry” in a relationship. They mean that rare combination of the new and different with an unexpected ease, the sense that the other, a stranger, is somehow instantly familiar and compelling. Words such as “hot” and “way cool” go with “chemistry” and imply that we’re speaking of bodily states. Depicting our human emotional life as “chemistry” expresses the extent to which, consciously or unconsciously, we have accepted neuroscience and biology–pre-programmed drives, configurations of facial features, hormones or the urge to reproduce-as the most fitting way to narrate our closest human relationships. Have we forgotten the utter complexity and subtle nuances of human relationships?

Not that singles believe they are really mindlessly pre-programmed in their search for the right partner. On the contrary, they hope to… READ MORE