We got everything we wished for – now what?

We want a new kind of love in the 21st century— we want excitement and attraction as much as equality and reciprocity. Until we develop new skills to address this changing paradigm, “love” as we know it, will fail.


The modern committed relationship is under stress. The traditional archetypes experienced by our parents and grandparents seem to fail us, and divorce rates are as high as ever. These days, our vow is no longer “until death do us part” but “I’ll stay as long as this suits me.”


Today, we demand a partnership of equals who share values and goals, a team united by love and dedicated to each other’s growth on every level. This new kind of love requires the psychological and spiritual development of every individual who embraces it. If we do not develop new skills to address this shift, our ever-increasing desires for a “perfect love, just right for me” will lead to greater fragmentation of families, marriages, and individual relationships.


In Love Between Equals, Young-Eisendrath offers guidance to help you:

  • Solve conflicts with respect.
  • Stop the humiliation and rage cycle.
  • Embrace weaknesses as well as strengths.
  • Contain our impulse to control or dominate those we love.
  • Understand how our own desire to see ourselves in another’s eyes can bring profound spiritual development.
Love between Equals: Relationship as a Spiritual Path Dr. Polly Young-Eisendrath

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Praise for Love Between Equals

“Intimate relationships are the householder’s monastery: a place to learn about oneness and connectivity with a special other. In the most successful relationships, that oneness and connectivity extends out to encompass all of creation. But for a relationship to be successful at that level, one must be willing to be affirmed and negated, expanded and contracted, allowed and limited over and over again. Young-Eisendrath is both a seasoned psychotherapist and a veteran contemplative adept. As such, she is ideally qualified to provide the information and inspiration you’ll need in order to achieve that noble goal.”


– Shinzen Young, author of The Science of Enlightenment

“Imagine the wisdom of a long-term contemplative practitioner woven together with the insights and compassion of a psychoanalytically trained and deeply experienced couples therapist, tie these together with the broad knowledge of a caring and curious educator, and you’ll get a sense of the tapestry that is the colorful collage of Love Between Equals.”


– From the Foreword by Daniel J. Siegel, MD, founder of the Mindsight Institute

“Become a true witness to one another and truly experience love between equals.”

– Polly Young-Eisendrath


Purchase your copy of Love Between Equals today!

About the Author

Dr. Polly Young-Eisendrath

POLLY YOUNG-EISENDRATH, Ph.D., Jungian Analyst, Psychologist, author; Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry, University of Vermont; Founder and Director of Institute for Dialogue Therapy; and in private practice in central Vermont. She is chairperson of the non-profit “Enlightening Conversations: Buddhism and Psychoanalysis Meeting in Person”. She has published many chapters and articles, as well as sixteen books that have been translated into twenty languages. Her most recent books are The Present Heart: A Memoir of Love, Loss and Discovery (Rodale, 2014); The Self-Esteem Trap: Raising Confident and Compassionate Kids in an Age of Self-Importance (Little, Brown, 2008); and The Cambridge Companion to Jung: New and Revised, of which she is co-editor with Terence Dawson (Cambridge University Press, 2008). Polly’s forthcoming book, Love Between Equals: Relationship as a Spiritual Path, will be available January 15, 2019 by Shambhala Publications.


Young-Eisendrath has lectured and appeared on discussion panels for numerous public events and conferences, such as TEDx, The Aspen Institute, Omega Institute, Mind and Life Institute, Pacifica Graduate Institute, The Rowe Center, and The Helix Center. She also hosts a podcast called ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom which analyzes human hostilities and applies psychology, psychoanalysis, art, spirituality, and relational theory in conversations about belonging and othering in our relationships and ideologies.

Purchase from your favorite bookseller today!

Purchase Love between Equals at Amazon
Purchase Love between Equals at Barnes & Noble
Purchase Love between Equals at Indie Bound
Purchase Love between Equals at Shambhala Publications

“With razor-sharp clarity, depth, and compassion, Young-Eisendrath takes the reader on an illuminating journey into romantic love. Weaving together the insights of depth psychology, psychoanalysis, and Buddhist spirituality, she outlines a truly clarifying reflection on the nuts and bolts of sustainable partnership. Read this alone or with your partner. It is a gift to anyone who wants to live into the experience of mature love.”


– Pilar Jennings, PhD, author of To Heal a Wounded Heart