Self-esteem comes from knowing and accepting our strengths and weaknesses. It allows us to acknowledge when we need the help of others, as well as what we can do independently and well. In learning about giving and needing help, children come to see that everyone struggles, and that everyone can help. Understanding this allows children to accept themselves as ordinary, see themselves as part of the human family, and develop the flexibility and resilience needed to face life's challenges.
To teach children flexibility in the face of life's challenges by allowing them to discover that they, like everyone, have strengths and weaknesses; and that there will be times when they can provide help, and times when they will require it.
1. Foster Flexibility Through Cooperation
- Encourage children to participate in age-appropriate community projects that enable them to contribute skills they have already developed, learn new skills, and discover the joy of working with others to get a job done.
- Promote family activities and projects that allow each member to contribute their own particular skills. For example, if one child enjoys dancing and the other sings well, encourage them to create performances where one dances to the music of the other's voice. Or if some members of the family write and others draw, work cooperatively to create an illustrated family storybook.
2. You Don't Have To Excel To Enjoy
- Encourage your child to pursue things they enjoy doing, regardless of how well they are able do them. You can share their enthusiasm without false praise and, if they show a serious interest, provide them with the opportunity to develop skills.
- Conversely, don't discourage your child from participating in a new activity because they show talent in other areas. There is nothing wrong with teaching children that at some point they will have to prioritize and make choices (if you begin "B" you will have less time to devote to "A"), as long as you don't make those choices for them. Remember that the goal is pleasure, not perfection.
Of course, if you have made a financial investment to support your child's interest in the piano, for example and your child has agreed to commit a certain number of hours to practice, it is important to hold them to their commitment.