X-Treme Parenting Makeover Workbook

The guidelines below are intended for people who would like to use the workbook in a group setting.

General Guidelines for Groups

Setting Up a Successful Group

Plan the schedule, structure, and location in advance:

• How many times will the group meet? How many tips will you cover in each session?
• Ten sessions would be ideal, but the workbook could be covered in fewer sessions if needed.


• How frequently will the group meet?
• Meeting once a week or once every two weeks is optimal for continuity and momentum. It is important to select the meeting time and dates in advance, mark them on your calendar, and commit to them.


• How long will each session last?
• Unless the group is very large, two hours per session should be sufficient.


• Where will you meet?
• Choose a venue that is comfortable and convenient for participants.


• How will you deal with group leadership? Will the moderator rotate or remain the same? How will that role be filled?
• Although small groups can function smoothly without a leader, it is generally helpful to have a designated facilitator. Below are some tips on this topic.

Establish the group leader's responsibilities:

• Opening and closing each session
• It is up to the individual group or group leader to decide how to open and close each session; however, it is recommended that each session begin and end with a period of silence. Silence is a form of communication that both strengthens our respect for each other and supports the aims of interdependence. At the start of a session, silence allows everyone to arrive fully and creates an open space for reflection and change. At the end of a session, silence gives participants a few minutes to reflect on and absorb what was discussed.

• Moderating the discussion
• In order to increase sharing and collaboration, have the group set rules for speaking to ensure that people do not interrupt each other and to provide room for everyone to speak and question. Once the group has agreed to basic rules (whether to have time limits for speaking, how topics will be introduced, etc.) the moderator's job will be to simply remind people of the rules.

Establish guidelines for conduct:

• Confidentiality
• Participants agree to keep what is said in the group confidential.
• Participants agree not to record the sessions (via audio or video tape recording).

• Participation
• Participants are never required to reveal anything about themselves or their family if they choose not to. Members always have the option of declining to speak, respond to a question, or take part in a particular exercise or activity.

• Etiquette
• Phrase comments in positive terms, do not criticize others' actions or ideas, and respect differing opinions.

Participants are encouraged to bring the workbook and a copy of The Self-Esteem Trap to each session and to come prepared to discuss the tip of the day, the relevant chapter, and their experience with the awareness exercises.

Results

Some of the difficulties we and our children face stem from being caught in the self-esteem trap. By completing the X-treme Parenting Makeover Workbook, you can expect to gain a deeper understanding of how these difficulties arise and insight into resolving them more fully in your own and your children's lives.

Symptoms of the Self-Esteem Trap:

• Excessive fears of being humiliated.
• Pressures to be exceptional.
• Unrealistic fantasies of wealth, power, celebrity, or achievement.
• Feelings of superiority and/or inferiority.
• Unreadiness to take on adult responsibilities in an imperfect world.
• Obsessive self-focus.
• Restless dissatisfaction.